AGE GRACEFULLY IT IS IN YOUR HANDS

AGE GRACEFULLY IT IS IN YOUR HANDS

When I started writing this post I stumbled upon two beautiful quotes, one from Ingrid Bergman and the other from Pablo Picasso. Bergman a native of Sweden became a super star in Hollywood and went on to win four Oscar Awards in the Best Actress category. This is what she said of old age “getting old is like climbing the mountain; you get a little out of breath but the view is much better” Pablo Picasso renowned Spanish painter has to say this “We do not grow older we grow riper” Picassos’ words come nearer to our life. My wife and I were on a holiday in Udaipur Rajasthan. One day after our breakfast in a restaurant we were walking toward the exit door, the manager of restaurant helped us to open door and said this “sir you two age very gracefully”. We were in our mid seventies and were taken aback with this unexpected compliment. In another instant my wife and I were on a holiday in Punjab. We were visiting the famous Neckchand Garden in Chandigarh. I was holding my wife’s hand and walking on the tricky cobbled stone pathway. Suddenly two teenage girls darted from behind and stopped in front of us said this “sir we were watching you two from behind. We want to take a picture of you two. After taking the picture they complemented us

“CUTE COUPLE”. My wife and I were in our upper seventies.

Old age is a watershed in one’s life. It is the time when people are made to think in which direction, they should take the future course. Old age is a highly relative term

It does not have any line of demarcation. One should develop the capacity to transition it in a smooth way as if it is another day. About three years ago my wife and I were on a holiday trip to Gujarat to visit Somnath temple at Jamnagar. After visiting we wanted to go to Dwaraka the island legendary headquarters of Lord Krishna. This involved crossing the Arabian sea on a motor boat which was bouncing in tune with the waves. My wife with her little physical problem managed to get on to the boat. A young man who was watching this exclaimed “Age is only a number your mid set makes the things work for you”

Talking about mind set it starts right from one’s adolescent stage. Adolescent stage is also a turning point in one’s life. It is a confused stage neither a child nor an adult. Here the parental guidance is of paramount importance. Here comes parents’ stability of mind to guide their children.in a normal course the father dons the mantle of bread winner and the mother the house keeper. If he is office going father holding a routine job his life becomes like a horse with a blind. He should come out of this office cocoon. For this he has to look around and learn modern things especially in this technological age share with his children and especially with his wife. In modern days wife should not relegated as mere house keeper but more so as an equal partner. For this both husband wife should the eschew the DEMON EGO. The character ego is in all human beings including animals. It is a character continuum with a lowest level to a very high level. The lowest level of ego with help of the proper training of your mind gets converted into self-confidence while higher levels of ego is detrimental to the personality of the person

When I say proper training of mind it involves extra activities outside your bread winning job or house keeping chores. The bread winning job and house hold chores lead to monotony and it will reflect in your personality. To come out of this you have to create your own pastime which is popularly called hobbies. Hobby need not be a text book hobby it could be anything out of the world which drags your attention without your effort.

“VALUES” in our life are as important as oxygen which sustains our life. Values are not taught like moral lessons in a class room. Values are all pervading like “DIVINITY” They are observed and absorbed. They resonate with the right mind and guide the person to achieve a happy old age

Having said all these like the sermon on the mount I have to draw our life in this narration. My wife Anandi is an alumnus of the world-famous Imperial College of Science Technology and Medicine of the University of London. At Imperial she specialized in entomology. Together with her mentor professor R.G. Davies she published a paper on the salivary glands of aphids which appeared in the Transactions of the Royal Entomological Society. London in 1969. Prof.Davis was very much impressed with Anandi’s humility and steadfastness. So was Professor Parr Tate of Cambridge University. Both of them used to send Anandi, Christmas and New year greeting every year for nearly 30 years enquiring very affectionately about the progress in her family life. After returning to India, Anandi did not sit on the laurels of Imperial College. She plunged into her family life and social activities. She used to teach underprivileged children and also used to go to schools to teach voluntarily. She established a small primary school on a shoestring budget which has blossomed into a high school today. Being a good veena player Anandi used to play veena to relax in her free time. She was passionately interested in knitting sweaters and making dolls These creations she used to present to needy underprivileged children. To cap it all Anandi was very much interested in the well being of old people. She used to visit old age peoples home regularly to comfort with soothing words the inmates. She looked after my parents so well in their old age tending them with lot of love and kindness. Our three children were watching how their mother was taking care of her father-in-law and mother-in-law. That made them to imbibe the values of life and absolute respect for elders.

Anandi loved to interact with people and she used to tell me about her interaction. As a professor I used to tell her all modern developments in the field of science and technology. This symbiosis led us to move seamlessly from the busy younger days of family life to the serene world of old age, gracefully.

As an addendum I reproduce here the poem we composed to celebrate our Fiftieth Wedding Anniversary in Dallas, Texas, USA, on August 20th 2016

Fifty years ago, we boarded the marriage ship

That taught us the values of companionship

“Give and Take” were the word that reverberated

From every corner of the ship.

While cruising on the ocean of life

Providence gave us three gems so bright

Embodiment of intelligence, courage, determination and delight.

They imbibed the VALUES of life

That helped them to choose their partners in life

The wonderful spouses they chose without our intervention

Proved their mettle beyond description

They gave us seven grand children

We call them endearingly THE MAGNIFICENT SEVEN

Crafted specially for us by HEAVEN

What more the grand parents can ask for

While cruising on the ocean of life

For fifty years without strife and gracefully age

Anandi Balasubramanian K.A.Balasubramanian